Alaska trip, Dana, Marilyn, Chris, and Evan, 2017 |
Sea Ranch Friends, from left Ron Benner, Sue Ziegler, Marilyn, Seth Newsome |
Positive experiences and good times are equally important in shaping a
person’s personality. For example, although scientists rarely receive positive
feedback, when we get a nice review or compliment from a student, it's a real
rush. After my divorce, I spent a couple of years as a foot loose and fancy-free
woman glad to be released from a difficult situation. Science was blooming and
when I left for California to work on the oxygen isotope project, I met my
future husband. People often ask how we met and it's a now “classic” story in
our family.
In 1985 during my first
sabbatical trip to work at Carnegie’s Plant Biology lab, I signed up for a whale-watching
trip that took place on a Sunday on St. Patrick’s Day, March 17th. Grey whales
could be seen at Point Reyes National Seashore from the promontory where the lighthouse
perches 100s of feet above the ocean. I didn’t have a car, so signed up to
share a ride from Palo Alto up to the Visitor’s Center of Point Reyes with a
Chinese grad student who had a new license and little familiarity with driving.
The front passenger door of her car was inoperable, so I sat in the back seat
with another woman. As we drove north through San Francisco’s hills, we
clutched the doors in shear terror. When we assembled with the group, the
leader of the trip asked if anyone wanted to ride with him in his VW bus. I
leaped at the chance!
The leader was a
good-looking trim guy with curly brown hair from Berkeley wearing a t-shirt and
jeans. On our way to the lighthouse, he spotted a bobcat in a meadow at the
side of the road. Even before we reached our destination, he’d pointed out
about a dozen coastal bird species. Throughout the day, we chatted on and off,
spotted whales breaching and exhaling offshore. At lunchtime, we shared
sandwiches on a bench overlooking Drake’s Lagoon, where I told him about my research
with stable isotopes. As the end of the day drew near, I wrote down my phone
number on a scrap of paper and handed it to him, hoping that he’d call. He
looked pleased, but answered, “Great, we could talk about your research some
more.”
I called my friends in
the following days and told them I was excited to meet this cool ecologist,
Christopher Wood Swarth. By Wednesday of that week he called! We set a date for
that weekend. On our first date, we ate beef tongue sandwiches at San Gregornio
Beach and fried calamari for dinner. Why we chose those two weird foods,
neither of us can explain, but we’ve never cooked them again. By the time my
brief 6-week trip was ending, we had gotten to know each other and were ready
to try out a long-distance relationship. We traveled back and forth from the DC
area to California, culminating with a trip to Europe in August just prior to
Chris’s fieldwork in Cameroon. It was an exciting day when he was able to call
me all the way from the US embassy in Africa!
Chris, 1985! |
After over 30 years of
marriage, I can look back and see what was important for us as a couple, a
family, and as a working woman. Before our kids were born, we both enjoyed the
freedom to work as long as we wanted and travel wherever we needed to go. When
Dana and Evan were very young, we hired the most remarkable young woman,
recently emigrated from Nigeria to be their “daycare mother” for their first 5
years. Susan Agugua, bright, perky, and funny, arrived every morning at 9 am,
every bit as compelling as Mary Poppins. Having someone you can trust to leave
your children with allowed both of us to keep our careers going while raising a
family.
Chris, Dana, Marilyn, and Evan: Christmas portrait, 2009 |
When the kids were in
elementary school, I took them to school and Chris picked them up from
after-school care. When one of them was sick, we put our “cards on the table”
and negotiated who had plans that could not be changed and who could shift
things around and stay home. Being able to pursue a scientific career requires
work on weekends, remote locations, and dedication. Whenever possible, we took
them to work with us including overseas field trips in Australia and Belize.
Chris worked for almost 25 years at an ecological park, a veritable treasure
trove of fun places for the kids to explore and learn about nature. Both Dana
and Evan also spent time in my lab, weighing samples and washing glassware.
Evan and several of his buddies even learned to run the mass spectrometers
during their senior year in high school. For several years, the whole family
trekked out to Southern California to do field work re-examining the San
Jacinto Mountain ecosystem first studied in 1908 by Chris’s grandfather, Harry
S. Swarth. They helped trap mammals, pressed plants, assisted with collecting
and preparing bird skins for museums, collected insects, and monitored bats.
Son Evan prepping samples GL 2009 |
Key to not running
yourself into the ground with marriage, family, and a career is to keeping your
mind engaged on where you are at that moment. When I was at the lab, I got my analyses
done, my writing completed, and my students and postdocs trained. When at home,
I enjoyed cooking the nightly dinner, made sure our home was pleasant, if not
completely clean, and delighted in hosting other families at our house. Our
home was a mecca for the kids’ friends after we installed a half-court
basketball platform and a hot tub in the backyard. As I matured as a scientist,
I was more confident in my role as a leader and frequently hosted dinner
parties at our house for colleagues from around the world. I morphed into the
role of “Science Mother” making sure postdocs and students were getting what
they needed in their careers, as well as their personal lives.
In the past 25 years, I have made a
point to mentor early career women as opportunities arise. I participate in
programs with the Association for Women Geoscientists and the Geochemical
Society. At the Carnegie and the University of California, I have been
particularly outspoken about women’s rights as scientists and have spent many hours
listening to and advising early career women. For most mentees, having a
sympathetic ear to listen to their problems was enough. Other times, however, I
needed to speak directly to Directors and Deans about abuses, in particular
over sexual harassment and gender discrimination issues. These were not
pleasant conversations and were outside of my scientific expertise, but in the
few places where I have worked, it is essential that a woman in the profession
provide guidance and advice.
Very engaging article. I devoured every word of it. Thank you for this beautiful piece Marilyn.
ReplyDelete